In her memoir Love’s Work, Gillian Rose writes that “in personal life, people have absolute power over each other,” and that “there is no democracy in a love relationship: only mercy.” Rose does not believe in unconditional love; she believes that “to live, to love, is to be failed, to forgive, to have failed, to be forgiven, forever and ever.” For her, love is about finding oneself vulnerable within the boundaries of oneself and others—getting it wrong, and continuing to try.

Excerpts from this book were first shown to me during a particularly challenging transitional period in my life. It was challenging precisely because it subverted many ideas I had about love, and especially romantic love. I didn’t fully grasp it at the time, but Rose’s book resurfaced later when I was searching for a title for this piece. I wrote this music reflecting on that challenging period—not only as a way to process what I learned from it, but also as a love offering. When Gillian’s book returned to me, it made perfect sense with this music, as though her ideas had taken root in my psyche without me even noticing.

There is a sense of weight to dyads in the piece. The instruments might be heard as playing two distinct musics that, at times, seem to disrupt each other, but ultimately work well together. A process emerges in the snare that begins, is interrupted, and begins again, only to fully unfold after several attempts. There’s also a set of dyads in the saxophone that steadily recur, against all hurdles.

Premiered by Popebama at Salisbury Congregational Church, Salisbury, VT in one of the participants concerts at NMOP 2025. 

Erin Rogers, tenor saxophone

Dennis Sullivan, cymbal 

Brian Riordan, audio engineer

Emmanuel Berrido, videographer

Emmanuel Berrido, videographer

Emmanuel Berrido, videographer